This is just great. The Ann Arbor News is reporting that it was, in fact, a friend who gave Justin Zatkoff his vicious shiner last weekend.

(How’s that for the first image ever posted on our new website?)

While at a party that began last Saturday night, police said Zatkoff picked a fight with some of his friends, and got punched in the eye. Police interviewed Zatkoff at a hospital the next day and he didn’t recall what happened.

People who were at the party told police Zatkoff had too much to drink, said Ann Arbor police Lt. Mike Logghe.

“We interviewed the guy who punched him,” said Logghe. “He admitted to punching him. He said he was a friend of his from high school.”

A little background: after the incident, a conservative student blog, Truth Caucus, was speculating that the attack was the work of some sort of militant leftist group and conservatives all over campus began to fear for their lives.

This is disturbing.

Justin Zatkoff, the executive director of the Michigan College Republicans, was brutally beaten after leaving a party in Ann Arbor on Saturday night. The Oakland University junior from Bloomfield Hills, Mich. was rumored to be targeted by militant leftist groups. Zatkoff, pictured above, did not know his attacker, and no money was stolen.

A source close to Zatkoff reports:

Justin may have been 1. randomly attacked (but not robbed??), 2. attacked by BAMN (well known for violence andstrong in Ann Arbor), or 3. attacked by a homosexual rights group (Justin received an ‘odd/threatening’ email from a gay rights group about a day before the attack.)

The mainstream press has not picked up the story.

A report from the Michigan College Republicans earlier this week said:

Justin Zatkoff, Executive Director for the MFCRs, was attacked leaving a party in Ann Arbor Saturday night. Justin had not seen the attacker before, and had no opportunity to defend himself. Justin is well-known for being a conservative and ‘in-your-face’ Republican, and there is quite a bit of speculation that he was targeted by leftist groups. The side of his face was crushed, and he will need to undergo major surgery to rebuild it.

I, for one, thought that was ludicrous and a patently obvious bit of political nonsense, and it pleases me to no end that I was right. Being a Republican in Ann Arbor might not get you punched in the face, but being an asshole will, and I hope that’s something that both sides of the aisle can get behind.

UPDATE: Because this is just too funny not to post.

- Zach Shoup