Jake Long is a real man. In attending the University of Michigan he has thrived in Michigan’s rich history, where JFK’s vision for the Peace Corps and Jonas Salk’s polio vaccine were announced, where we have an alumni charter on the moon, and you know the rest. In recognition of Long’s greatness, he will be the number one pick in the 2008 NFL Draft. Justin Boren is a pansy, who was exposed as inadequate when juxtaposed with the University of Michigan’s great traditions. As such, he had no choice but to transfer to an institution that prides itself not on excellence but the lack thereof, where their greatest source of pride is a tree nut. To sum: