There’s been more talk about purity balls after this recent article in TIME magazine. Purity balls are wedding-like parties for fathers and daughters where daughters vow to their dads that they will remain “pure” by abstaining from sex before marriage, and the dads vow to protect their chastity. (I say wedding-like because there’s often a ring exchange involved; and also in purity ball parlance, this one-on-one time with dad is a “date”.) Yep, creepy, but apparently there are an increasing number of people who find purity balls hip, endearing and even noble.

In the TIME article, reporter Nancy Gibbs gives readers a detailed portrait of what goes on inside the ballroom. But Gibb’s commentary is also a clear give-away that she is quite a fan of these purity balls. In 2007, Jennifer Baumgardner covered purity balls for Glamour magazine; she has a less favorable—and arguably a more well-rounded—impression of them than Gibbs.

Gibbs, however, makes a good point when she says that any fatherly involvement is better than no involvement. True, but if all we are aiming for is for dads to simply care—no matter how misplaced their good intentions are—than are expectations for fathers are too pathetically low. Maybe because it’s so rare in our society to see active fathers that whenever we spot them, we want to cover them in gold stars. And maybe we are too afraid to critique these fathers’ parenting skills-even when they need critiquing-because, well, any involvement is better than no involvement.

To say the least, I am not a fan of this purity ball concept, but I won’t get into it since Baumgardner offers a much more thorough and succinct overview and critique on the whole matter than I can ever give.

But I don’t want to be a party-pooper. I’m sure many of the participating girls enjoy these purity balls. Plus, it’s another excuse to buy a fancy dress. And it’s hardly fair to give a critique without providing any alternatives. So, if you are a dad or guardian that wants to celebrate your daughter’s budding womanhood, I’ve got an idea for you: throw a menarche or period party! Yes, celebrate menstruation. What better way to tell your daughter that she is valuable; that she has nothing to be ashamed of; that her body is not dirty or taboo, but interesting and beautiful. Unlike purity balls, menarche parties will have the effect of making daughters feel more comfortable and open about discussing and sharing their experiences of sexual development and quandaries with their parents—purity balls does the opposite. Menarche parties also avoid the patronizing overtones of purity balls by providing a rich learning opportunity for daughters and fathers. It provides a great venue for families to learn about women’s health together: What goes on during the entire cycle? What other options are there aside from tampons and pads? Whats the keeper, how does it work?

Like purity balls, menarche parties are a growing trend too. And like purity balls, menarche parties are increasingly commercialized–just check out Menarche Parties R’ Us.

So, by all means, have a ball…just not one that requires you to pledge your virginity to pops. As a better alternative, Ann from Feministing suggests throwing a sexual autonomy ball.

Iris Brilliant, class of 2010, celebrates her period on the Diag.

Michigan alumna Noelle Williams celebrates Period on the Diag Day.